He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
