I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
