Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize