Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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