You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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