spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
someone owes me an orgasm
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
