Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
