i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Your cock deserves a montage
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
