it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
