i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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