I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize