I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
