we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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