I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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