She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.