Say something about gay babies.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.