i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?