The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER