New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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