I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize