I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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