your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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