if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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