Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
