right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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