i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
