you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
