Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
pop tarts are not kleenex
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
