you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
