i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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