I think my vagina is haunted
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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