my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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