look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize