Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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