I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize