wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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