toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
