I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
