Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Pooping to opera.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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