Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
3 2 1 whiskey
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
