Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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