Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
