This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
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She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
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I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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