something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Are my feet made of real feet?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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