I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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