Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize