I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
