I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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