Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
