There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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