enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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