went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
