More tranny stories later!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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