And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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