Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So much rum. So many feels.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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