May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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