Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
