Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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