At least make sure they are 18
Why
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
