That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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