I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
