Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
