Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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