well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize