Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't deserve a penis
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
