My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
