guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
